lost.

I'm at the end of the line. It seems I can't take anymore, one thing can set me off.
Last night I was so close, so close to losing it. It took 4 hours alone to make me come back, since then I have said three words to you, I don't even remember what they were.
You're right, I'm losing touch. You're so right.
I lost what little control I had left, and the results were devastating.
We have nothing.

Why is it?
I don't want to see anybody. I don't want to talk to anybody.
But for some reason I have a charade that hides my feelings. So i do anyway.
I never act for you though. You see me how I always am inside, and I'm so close to hating you for it. Maybe when you try to love someone to much, all that person wants to do is hate.
All i do is hate hate hate.
Hate myself. Hate my mind set. It's selfish but I hate my life.
I don't know how to move forward. I don't know waht to do.
I don't want this.
You know how they say there's a light at the end of a tunnel?
There's no light for me. It's pitch black.

Three people keep me as close to sane as i can be.
I need you now.

Because I don't know where I'm headed.
I'm conpletely and utterly lost.