Saturday, September 26, 2009


I think it would be best just to isolate myself from everyone.
Be safer for them and possibly society
then maybe i wouldn't hurt so much and have a knot im my gut.

"if she cried on his cold shoulder, all she would catch is her death."

It's that time again...

When everything falls apart, but nothing is wrong.
I want to come back.It's ironic how I feel such a heavy weight in my stomach
yet, I'm floating away from myself.

Hold me down.

Sunday, September 20, 2009

The letter god wrote to man,

Hey There, how, how’s it going?
Long time no see.
I know I haven’t been around much lately
But…it didn’t seem like you wanted me to be
The last time I sent down a message
you nailed it to the cross
So I figured I’d just leave you to it,
let you be your own boss

But I’ve been keeping an eye on you, I have,
and it’s amazing how you’ve grown.
With your technological advances
and the problems you’ve overthrown,
And all the beautiful art
you’ve created with such grace and such finesse,
But I admit there are a few things
I’m afraid have impressed me less.

So I’m writing to apologize for all the
horrors committed in my name,
Although that was never what I intended,
I feel I should take my share of the blame.
All the good I tried to do was corrupted
when organised religion got into full swing,
What I thought were quite clear messages
were taken to unusual extremes.
My teachings taken out of context
to meet the agendas of others,
Interpretations taken to many different ways
and hidden meanings discovered

Religion became a tool,
for the weak to control the strong
With all these new morals and ethics,
survival of the fittest was gone
No longer could the biggest man
simply take whatever he needed
‘cause damnation was the price
if certain rules were not heeded
Some of the deeds committed in my name
just made me wonder were I went wrong.
Back at the start when I created this,
the foundation seemed so strong.
See all the elements were already here,
long before I began,
I just kind of put it all together
I didn’t really think out a long-term plan.

I made the sun an appropriate distance
and laid the stars across the sky
So you could navigate the globe
or simply watch the sun rise
I covered the earth with plants and fruits,
Some for sustenance and some for beauty
I made the sun shine and the clouds rain
so their maintenance wasn’t your duty
I tried to give each creature its own attributes
without making them enveloped
I gave you all you all your own space to
grow and in your own way space to develop

I didn’t know such development
would cause rifts and jealousy
Cause you to war against each other
and leave marks on this planet indelibly
You see, I wasn’t really the creater,
I was just the curator of nature
I want to get something straight
with homosexuals right now: I don’t hate ya
I was a simple being
that happened to be the first to wield such powers
I just laid the ground, it was You that built the towers

It was You that invented bombs,
and the fear that comes with them
And it was You that invented money,
and the corrupt economic systems
You invented terms like
just-war and terms like friendly fire
And it was You that didn’t know
when to stop digging deeper,
when to stop building higher
It was You that exhausted the resources
I carefully laid out on this earth,
And it was You that even saw these
problems coming but accredited them little worth
It was You that used my teachings
for your own personal gain
And it was You that committed such tragedies,
even though they were in my name

So I apologize for any mistakes I made,
and when my words misconstrued
But this apology’s to mother nature,
cause I created you.

God doesn't exsist but if he did i imagine this is waht he would say.

Thursday, September 17, 2009

Jesus walked on water, but so did marvin gaye.

I feel better. I felt amazing for three days then it all came crashing down. worst twenty four hours.
But bridges have been re built and things seem ok now. I wander how long this will last.

Monday, September 14, 2009


I thought I'd savour feeling in a good mood.

Anything, any thought, any words, any minute could break this.

Friday, September 11, 2009

Running With Scissors

I want to know why i'm so full of hate, give me a real answer don't just tell me it's fate, if i've got a date with destiny tell that bitch i'll be late, because it was destiny that made me a fuck up not my mistakes. I don't know how I've made it this far, with just a fist full of dreams and a lonely heart, I don't know how I've lasted this time, with just my friends by my side just to get me by. I get a knot in my gut everytime i try to sleep, I'm still waiting for this life to coem and sweep me off my feet. Fill me up with awe, I want to be inspired, but right now the only thing I feel is fuckign tired. I'm over it, I'm angry, I feel caught up in the front. I ahte this fucking world because this worlds a fucking cunt. I feel so small you might just eat me at lunchtime, if lifes a fucking joke I'm still waiting for the punchline.

I know it's pathetic but i feel like nothigns worth it, my future right now looks far from fuckign perfect. I feel selfish I'm so much better off than others, but i need protection man, i need some cover. I'll be fine one minute then be fucked up the next, I need a fucking break i need a fuckign rest. I wear a fake face just to say im doing ok, you want the truth, well I'm not. OK! I feel the need to break out not to do waht im told, im helpless, im drowning in the weight of the world is falling on my shoulders. Every time i make something, i tear it down til im left with nothing. I'm still trying trying to work out what in the world could be wrong, I still don't know so I jsut vent through my songs. I was always told to give things time, but time heals fucking nothing and im done with this life.

I know im asking questions but im failing to receive answers. I'm screaming out but no one can hear me can you. I guess im just asking for help, im losing grip man im losing myself. But theres a person who's always there for me, never elts me down always there to care for me, and i love them more than words could ever put, I hope they realise this, I hope its understood. It seems like everyones happy apart from me, but we can still rely on hope,
now can't we?

Thursday, September 3, 2009

Summer Days.

I want this shirt. It'd be amazing.

Long live living,

If living can be this.

Good mood, until ten minutes ago.

new drawing up

check in about 10 minutes.

Tuesday, September 1, 2009

On a lighter note...

We can still rely on hope,
can't we?

Float Away.

I've been thinking alot lately, I'm sick of talking and typing on this in a sort of code. All my entries seem to be riddles. It's not intentional. I guess it's just the way I am. I must seem pretty down. I never post happy stuff. Alot of the time I hit rock bottom and just vent through this. It's my relief. Maybe that's why I don't say the whole truth. I conceal it. Hidden behind words. I want to scream out sometimes. That's when I turn to a certain someone who never lets me down, it's our secret, they make me smile again. This is different. Sometimes I just want to be alone but want everyone to know I'm feeling so helpless but I won't tell them what's gone wrong. Maybe I use this as a way of asking for help. I want to work out why I feel like this. I feel like I'm at the bottom and I just want to float away but my insides are made of lead and they're weighing me down.

I'm not sure why I wrote this. I'm trying to explain, explain what?
Fucked if I know. I don't make sense.

Dear home,

I miss you.