Saturday, October 24, 2009


not using this anymore

heres the new link

the links on my myspace in case i got that wrong!

I suggest everyone uses tumblr
its sick, you can do heaps.
photos upload really faste
its awesome.

Wednesday, October 21, 2009


I'm at the end of the line. It seems I can't take anymore, one thing can set me off.
Last night I was so close, so close to losing it. It took 4 hours alone to make me come back, since then I have said three words to you, I don't even remember what they were.
You're right, I'm losing touch. You're so right.
I lost what little control I had left, and the results were devastating.
We have nothing.

Why is it?
I don't want to see anybody. I don't want to talk to anybody.
But for some reason I have a charade that hides my feelings. So i do anyway.
I never act for you though. You see me how I always am inside, and I'm so close to hating you for it. Maybe when you try to love someone to much, all that person wants to do is hate.
All i do is hate hate hate.
Hate myself. Hate my mind set. It's selfish but I hate my life.
I don't know how to move forward. I don't know waht to do.
I don't want this.
You know how they say there's a light at the end of a tunnel?
There's no light for me. It's pitch black.

Three people keep me as close to sane as i can be.
I need you now.

Because I don't know where I'm headed.
I'm conpletely and utterly lost.

Friday, October 16, 2009

Cold Streets.

Home is where the heart is, but I can’t remember where I left my heart.

It’s not this world that has made me cold it’s the people in it. And I swear, I swear it’s not my fault.

I don’t know how these years I spent; have left me nothing but myself. Half my life left behind. You take so much for granted, I had everything I needed. Now I have nothing left. I swear, I swear it’s all your fault.

Abandoned. These streets have become my home.

Forgotten. Cursed into solitude.

Forsaken. Misplaced and searching.

Desolate. Forever on my own.

This is the last time I’ll chase my dreams.

This is the last time I’ll chase my dreams.

Sunrise. Sunset. Every passing day, I will try to forget.

No one else in mind I’m a selfish wreck, completely off the tracks I’m a fucking threat,

Not just to myself, but everyone I have met. I tell myself that I’m going to make it.

Sunrise. Sunset, each passing day I remember that.

It’s never too late.

To change.

Monday, October 12, 2009

I havent posted in ages.

just thought id let you know im still alive.

Wednesday, October 7, 2009


"there's no place for me." a man of nowhere, a man of black heart from the dead end streets. "regret runs through me. i am no one, i am nothing, i am a man of defeat. what's left for me?" he thought of those open roads, his mother praying alone, that vagrant anthem and the field sung hymns, the cowardice forever following him. "what's left for me? the world has turned it's back on me. there's no place for me." a sullen walk to the chapel stairs. "regret runs through me." a hard pull on that white oak door to face up those fears. "what brings you here my son?" "i've been a horrible man. i killed my father, i killed my brother, i left my mother in your god's hands." "clasp your hands and count your sins. kneel at the pew." and so the sermon begins. "no judgment cast down this day, will set you free. you are forgiven my son, you are blessed and redeemed. you've found absolution here son, but only from me." "what's left for me?" a sullen walk to the steeple top to look over the city. he carves his name in that old brass bell, so when it rings he can hear it in hell. one last look to that western sky, one last wish he could have changed his life. "i ain't no wicked man." he let his fleet slip from under him. unwanted.

Tuesday, October 6, 2009

There goes my life.

Consider this global abortion.

If i ruled the world, I would destroy all mankind,
If I were king for a day I'd make sure there was no fucking tomorrow.
And now the world is my fucking toilet.
And now the world is mine.
Survival of the fittest was a bullshit lie.
This is my reclamation.
This is my continent.
No remorse for anything.
No salvation for anyone.
No one can stop me I am the death machine.
It is my job as a human being to let my ignorance take control.
It is my job as a human being to run this bitch in the ground.
Your Mother Earth is a dirty slut.
I don't sing fucking love songs because there's nothing in this world for me to love.
I want the world to have my rape baby so when it's born I can strangle it to death.
Beauty isn't skin deep, beauty doesn't exist.
I'm never going to be there for you.
I'm never going to pick you up when you are down.
I am not your shoulder to cry on.

I am the end of the world.