Crisis

I thought I'd savour feeling in a good mood.

Anything, any thought, any words, any minute could break this.

Running With Scissors

I want to know why i'm so full of hate, give me a real answer don't just tell me it's fate, if i've got a date with destiny tell that bitch i'll be late, because it was destiny that made me a fuck up not my mistakes. I don't know how I've made it this far, with just a fist full of dreams and a lonely heart, I don't know how I've lasted this time, with just my friends by my side just to get me by. I get a knot in my gut everytime i try to sleep, I'm still waiting for this life to coem and sweep me off my feet. Fill me up with awe, I want to be inspired, but right now the only thing I feel is fuckign tired. I'm over it, I'm angry, I feel caught up in the front. I ahte this fucking world because this worlds a fucking cunt. I feel so small you might just eat me at lunchtime, if lifes a fucking joke I'm still waiting for the punchline.

I know it's pathetic but i feel like nothigns worth it, my future right now looks far from fuckign perfect. I feel selfish I'm so much better off than others, but i need protection man, i need some cover. I'll be fine one minute then be fucked up the next, I need a fucking break i need a fuckign rest. I wear a fake face just to say im doing ok, you want the truth, well I'm not. OK! I feel the need to break out not to do waht im told, im helpless, im drowning in the weight of the world is falling on my shoulders. Every time i make something, i tear it down til im left with nothing. I'm still trying trying to work out what in the world could be wrong, I still don't know so I jsut vent through my songs. I was always told to give things time, but time heals fucking nothing and im done with this life.

I know im asking questions but im failing to receive answers. I'm screaming out but no one can hear me can you. I guess im just asking for help, im losing grip man im losing myself. But theres a person who's always there for me, never elts me down always there to care for me, and i love them more than words could ever put, I hope they realise this, I hope its understood. It seems like everyones happy apart from me, but we can still rely on hope,

now can't we?

Summer Days.

I want this shirt. It'd be amazing.

Long live living,

If living can be this.

Good mood, until ten minutes ago.

new drawing up

www.gcillustration.blogspot.com

check in about 10 minutes.

On a lighter note...

We can still rely on hope,
can't we?

Float Away.

I've been thinking alot lately, I'm sick of talking and typing on this in a sort of code. All my entries seem to be riddles. It's not intentional. I guess it's just the way I am. I must seem pretty down. I never post happy stuff. Alot of the time I hit rock bottom and just vent through this. It's my relief. Maybe that's why I don't say the whole truth. I conceal it. Hidden behind words. I want to scream out sometimes. That's when I turn to a certain someone who never lets me down, it's our secret, they make me smile again. This is different. Sometimes I just want to be alone but want everyone to know I'm feeling so helpless but I won't tell them what's gone wrong. Maybe I use this as a way of asking for help. I want to work out why I feel like this. I feel like I'm at the bottom and I just want to float away but my insides are made of lead and they're weighing me down.

I'm not sure why I wrote this. I'm trying to explain, explain what?
Fucked if I know. I don't make sense.

Dear home,

I miss you.