New

blog,
not using this anymore

heres the new link

www.wearenotourfailures.tumblr.com

the links on my myspace in case i got that wrong!

I suggest everyone uses tumblr
its sick, you can do heaps.
photos upload really faste
its awesome.

lost.

I'm at the end of the line. It seems I can't take anymore, one thing can set me off.
Last night I was so close, so close to losing it. It took 4 hours alone to make me come back, since then I have said three words to you, I don't even remember what they were.
You're right, I'm losing touch. You're so right.
I lost what little control I had left, and the results were devastating.
We have nothing.

Why is it?
I don't want to see anybody. I don't want to talk to anybody.
But for some reason I have a charade that hides my feelings. So i do anyway.
I never act for you though. You see me how I always am inside, and I'm so close to hating you for it. Maybe when you try to love someone to much, all that person wants to do is hate.
All i do is hate hate hate.
Hate myself. Hate my mind set. It's selfish but I hate my life.
I don't know how to move forward. I don't know waht to do.
I don't want this.
You know how they say there's a light at the end of a tunnel?
There's no light for me. It's pitch black.

Three people keep me as close to sane as i can be.
I need you now.

Because I don't know where I'm headed.
I'm conpletely and utterly lost.

Cold Streets.

Home is where the heart is, but I can’t remember where I left my heart.

It’s not this world that has made me cold it’s the people in it. And I swear, I swear it’s not my fault.

I don’t know how these years I spent; have left me nothing but myself. Half my life left behind. You take so much for granted, I had everything I needed. Now I have nothing left. I swear, I swear it’s all your fault.

Abandoned. These streets have become my home.

Forgotten. Cursed into solitude.

Forsaken. Misplaced and searching.

Desolate. Forever on my own.

This is the last time I’ll chase my dreams.

This is the last time I’ll chase my dreams.

Sunrise. Sunset. Every passing day, I will try to forget.

No one else in mind I’m a selfish wreck, completely off the tracks I’m a fucking threat,

Not just to myself, but everyone I have met. I tell myself that I’m going to make it.

Sunrise. Sunset, each passing day I remember that.

It’s never too late.

To change.

I havent posted in ages.

just thought id let you know im still alive.

cowardice.

"there's no place for me." a man of nowhere, a man of black heart from the dead end streets. "regret runs through me. i am no one, i am nothing, i am a man of defeat. what's left for me?" he thought of those open roads, his mother praying alone, that vagrant anthem and the field sung hymns, the cowardice forever following him. "what's left for me? the world has turned it's back on me. there's no place for me." a sullen walk to the chapel stairs. "regret runs through me." a hard pull on that white oak door to face up those fears. "what brings you here my son?" "i've been a horrible man. i killed my father, i killed my brother, i left my mother in your god's hands." "clasp your hands and count your sins. kneel at the pew." and so the sermon begins. "no judgment cast down this day, will set you free. you are forgiven my son, you are blessed and redeemed. you've found absolution here son, but only from me." "what's left for me?" a sullen walk to the steeple top to look over the city. he carves his name in that old brass bell, so when it rings he can hear it in hell. one last look to that western sky, one last wish he could have changed his life. "i ain't no wicked man." he let his fleet slip from under him. unwanted.

There goes my life.

Consider this global abortion.

If i ruled the world, I would destroy all mankind,
If I were king for a day I'd make sure there was no fucking tomorrow.
And now the world is my fucking toilet.
And now the world is mine.
Survival of the fittest was a bullshit lie.
This is my reclamation.
This is my continent.
No remorse for anything.
No salvation for anyone.
No one can stop me I am the death machine.
It is my job as a human being to let my ignorance take control.
It is my job as a human being to run this bitch in the ground.
Your Mother Earth is a dirty slut.
I don't sing fucking love songs because there's nothing in this world for me to love.
I want the world to have my rape baby so when it's born I can strangle it to death.
Beauty isn't skin deep, beauty doesn't exist.
I'm never going to be there for you.
I'm never going to pick you up when you are down.
I am not your shoulder to cry on.

I am the end of the world.

mayhem.

I destroy peoples lives,
mainly my own.

Surviving

I shirk my obligations, I miss all your deadlines
I excel at quitting early, and fucking up my life

All smiles and sunshine, a perfect world on a perfect day
Everything always works out, I have never felt so fucking great.
fuck off.

breaking.

Fuck this.
Fuck everything.
Im sick and tired of it all. Nothings worth the effort.

I'm being emo,
and I dont give a shit.

This isn't anger, this is feeling alone.

I have nothing and no one.

plot two.

I am so sick of these nights pretending
It's just the way life has to be.

Sometimes

I think it would be best just to isolate myself from everyone.
Be safer for them and possibly society
then maybe i wouldn't hurt so much and have a knot im my gut.

"if she cried on his cold shoulder, all she would catch is her death."

It's that time again...

When everything falls apart, but nothing is wrong.
I want to come back.It's ironic how I feel such a heavy weight in my stomach
yet, I'm floating away from myself.

Hold me down.

The letter god wrote to man,

Hey There, how, how’s it going?
Long time no see.
I know I haven’t been around much lately
But…it didn’t seem like you wanted me to be
The last time I sent down a message
you nailed it to the cross
So I figured I’d just leave you to it,
let you be your own boss

But I’ve been keeping an eye on you, I have,
and it’s amazing how you’ve grown.
With your technological advances
and the problems you’ve overthrown,
And all the beautiful art
you’ve created with such grace and such finesse,
But I admit there are a few things
I’m afraid have impressed me less.

So I’m writing to apologize for all the
horrors committed in my name,
Although that was never what I intended,
I feel I should take my share of the blame.
All the good I tried to do was corrupted
when organised religion got into full swing,
What I thought were quite clear messages
were taken to unusual extremes.
My teachings taken out of context
to meet the agendas of others,
Interpretations taken to many different ways
and hidden meanings discovered

Religion became a tool,
for the weak to control the strong
With all these new morals and ethics,
survival of the fittest was gone
No longer could the biggest man
simply take whatever he needed
‘cause damnation was the price
if certain rules were not heeded
Some of the deeds committed in my name
just made me wonder were I went wrong.
Back at the start when I created this,
the foundation seemed so strong.
See all the elements were already here,
long before I began,
I just kind of put it all together
I didn’t really think out a long-term plan.

I made the sun an appropriate distance
and laid the stars across the sky
So you could navigate the globe
or simply watch the sun rise
I covered the earth with plants and fruits,
Some for sustenance and some for beauty
I made the sun shine and the clouds rain
so their maintenance wasn’t your duty
I tried to give each creature its own attributes
without making them enveloped
I gave you all you all your own space to
grow and in your own way space to develop

I didn’t know such development
would cause rifts and jealousy
Cause you to war against each other
and leave marks on this planet indelibly
You see, I wasn’t really the creater,
I was just the curator of nature
I want to get something straight
with homosexuals right now: I don’t hate ya
I was a simple being
that happened to be the first to wield such powers
I just laid the ground, it was You that built the towers

It was You that invented bombs,
and the fear that comes with them
And it was You that invented money,
and the corrupt economic systems
You invented terms like
just-war and terms like friendly fire
And it was You that didn’t know
when to stop digging deeper,
when to stop building higher
It was You that exhausted the resources
I carefully laid out on this earth,
And it was You that even saw these
problems coming but accredited them little worth
It was You that used my teachings
for your own personal gain
And it was You that committed such tragedies,
even though they were in my name

So I apologize for any mistakes I made,
and when my words misconstrued
But this apology’s to mother nature,
cause I created you.


God doesn't exsist but if he did i imagine this is waht he would say.

Jesus walked on water, but so did marvin gaye.

I feel better. I felt amazing for three days then it all came crashing down. worst twenty four hours.
But bridges have been re built and things seem ok now. I wander how long this will last.

Crisis

I thought I'd savour feeling in a good mood.

Anything, any thought, any words, any minute could break this.

Running With Scissors

I want to know why i'm so full of hate, give me a real answer don't just tell me it's fate, if i've got a date with destiny tell that bitch i'll be late, because it was destiny that made me a fuck up not my mistakes. I don't know how I've made it this far, with just a fist full of dreams and a lonely heart, I don't know how I've lasted this time, with just my friends by my side just to get me by. I get a knot in my gut everytime i try to sleep, I'm still waiting for this life to coem and sweep me off my feet. Fill me up with awe, I want to be inspired, but right now the only thing I feel is fuckign tired. I'm over it, I'm angry, I feel caught up in the front. I ahte this fucking world because this worlds a fucking cunt. I feel so small you might just eat me at lunchtime, if lifes a fucking joke I'm still waiting for the punchline.

I know it's pathetic but i feel like nothigns worth it, my future right now looks far from fuckign perfect. I feel selfish I'm so much better off than others, but i need protection man, i need some cover. I'll be fine one minute then be fucked up the next, I need a fucking break i need a fuckign rest. I wear a fake face just to say im doing ok, you want the truth, well I'm not. OK! I feel the need to break out not to do waht im told, im helpless, im drowning in the weight of the world is falling on my shoulders. Every time i make something, i tear it down til im left with nothing. I'm still trying trying to work out what in the world could be wrong, I still don't know so I jsut vent through my songs. I was always told to give things time, but time heals fucking nothing and im done with this life.

I know im asking questions but im failing to receive answers. I'm screaming out but no one can hear me can you. I guess im just asking for help, im losing grip man im losing myself. But theres a person who's always there for me, never elts me down always there to care for me, and i love them more than words could ever put, I hope they realise this, I hope its understood. It seems like everyones happy apart from me, but we can still rely on hope,

now can't we?

Summer Days.

I want this shirt. It'd be amazing.

Long live living,

If living can be this.

Good mood, until ten minutes ago.

new drawing up

www.gcillustration.blogspot.com

check in about 10 minutes.

On a lighter note...

We can still rely on hope,
can't we?

Float Away.

I've been thinking alot lately, I'm sick of talking and typing on this in a sort of code. All my entries seem to be riddles. It's not intentional. I guess it's just the way I am. I must seem pretty down. I never post happy stuff. Alot of the time I hit rock bottom and just vent through this. It's my relief. Maybe that's why I don't say the whole truth. I conceal it. Hidden behind words. I want to scream out sometimes. That's when I turn to a certain someone who never lets me down, it's our secret, they make me smile again. This is different. Sometimes I just want to be alone but want everyone to know I'm feeling so helpless but I won't tell them what's gone wrong. Maybe I use this as a way of asking for help. I want to work out why I feel like this. I feel like I'm at the bottom and I just want to float away but my insides are made of lead and they're weighing me down.

I'm not sure why I wrote this. I'm trying to explain, explain what?
Fucked if I know. I don't make sense.

Dear home,

I miss you.

Honest. Sleep.

I'm losing sleep
I'm losing friends
I've got a love hate love
With the city I'm in
I'll count the hours
Having just one wish
If I'm doing fine
There's no point to this.

Rewind, repeat.

It's my friends funeral tomorow.
It's strange it wasn't that I was really close to him. He was just such an amazing person.
His smile made everyones day, and I have many memories of us just bumming in class cracking jokes, him making me laugh.
It's feels so strange that you're actually gone.
I miss you.
I still can't beleive it.
You were one of the kindest people ever.
I was asked who you were friends with, I replied, everyone.
You oppened your heart to anyone. That's what made so incredible. An incredible friend, an incredible person.
Even though I didn't, I could've told you my secrets and had 100% faith you would've kept them.

This was so unexpected and now I have so many things I wish to say to you.
But for now just remember, you will always be remembered in our hearts and in our minds.
Sleep tight man,
we miss you.

TO THE BEAUTIFUL ALEX

HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!!!!

you amaze me,

i love you soooooooooo much!!!!

If you looke up...

best friend in the dictionary it would have a picture of this girl then a caption saying;

most amazing person in the world. She'd move mountains for you.


Alex your the greatest in the world, you look after me heaps.
Youre always there for me,

and i love you more than anything
(L)(L)

I WANT TO

SIIIIIIIINNNNNNNNNNGGGGG :D

I added truthbox

and these are just some of the lovely things people say about me :)

WANKER CUT OF THAT GROSS SHIT FROM YOUR HAIR

man whore

your so up your self and your mum is a fucking dog

one word for you is CUNT

Wow your heads so far up ya arse it's not even funny. And you used to be hot. Nice hair cut dick.

emo.




thanks myspace.

ALEX & GRACE

I LOVE YOU TWO SO MUCH!

REMEMBER EVEN WHEN EVERYTHING SEEMS SHIT, ILL BE HERE FOREVER!

SHINE BRIGHT.

AND BE HAPPY.


(L)(L)(L)

Whinging

Sometimes I feel so selfish, being upset about tiny things compared to others.

But sometimes I get a knot in my gut and I can't sleep at night, knowing I can't be there.

We all make a big deal out of nothing.

Looking Forward

To tomorow afternoon, it means the weekend and a break from all this stress.

My mates and I are goign to get kebabs, jumbo kebabs.

Something so simple makes my life perfect.

I need something to cheer me up.

I

Never.
Write.
Much.
But.
This.
World.
Is.
Just.
Too.
Much.
To.
Handle.
I.
Cant.
See.
An.
Easy.
Way.
Out

Everything needs time.

That's what I keep telling myself over and over again.




But this is getting fucking tedious.

ANGRY

I
HATE
IT
WHEN
THINGS
CLASH
AND
I
LET
MY
BEST
FRIENDS
DOWN

Due to unforseen circumstances...

Im thinking of deleting my drawing blog,

people are stealing my drawings.

enough said.

fuck off and die

Shower revelations...

Im in an amaznigly good mood. I have nothing to whinge about, except im slightly hungry.

Nothing major has happened. I just feel so content.

Im surrounded by amazing people.

Theres going to be a party when the wolf gets home.

Im hopeful about one thing.

I have a good feeling about it at last.

It'll probably amount to nothing.

But Its been so long since ive felt this way.

There's nothing that sickens me more than...

RACISM

And every racist cunt can fuck off. Stop stereotyping people. GROW UP!

I went on this kids myspace and he has a profile song of this guy pretending to be an aboroginal and
rapping about how he smokes pot and fights everyone. I fucking hate it. Everyone in this world is fucking equal. We need to open our eyes and realise this. Racism is wrong. Why discriminate a person because of the colour of their skin or because of where there from?

Your all naive fucks and i hope you decay in your own ignorance.

The day this world opens up its eyes and realises everyone, EVERYONE IS EQUAL will be the day the world makes sense.

Stop discriminating.

I want to scream outloud

and everyone to wake the fuck up.

This world is falling apart and no one gives a fuck.

procrastiantion is people seem good at these days.

If only i could bring back yesterday...

It seems I get caught up in the moment, but when its gone. I'm forgotten.

I don't want to be left behind.

Sail away.

It was never worth it.

Im so tired...

Of these sleepless nights.

This feels so fucking wrong.

everything.

I feel so...

disconected from everything.

BLOG

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I (L) BLOGGING

EMO POST NO. 64378634709634756890347

some people are just born cunts. Lets all chin up. :D


I have a new drawing www.gcillustration.blogspot.com


I love you.





ohoh happy birthday alex.

look back,

with no remorse.

Somebody commented me today on a bulletin i posted titled "this world has made me cold"

he said, its not this world that has made you cold, its the people in it.



i agree.

This world has made me cold.

Deadweight shirt wooo. Tell me waht you think. It's just a draft so chill out if you think its shit. :D

This is what im made of.

Maybe if i lie here awake for long enough, your face will appear next to mine.
As if in a dream.
But dreams are made up of hope and hope is made up of
empty promises and false intentions.

I lie here surrounding by a range of general anisthetics...

But still they dont numb the ache,


mainly from the cold.


But things begin to stack up,

the odds are against me this time,

and I don't like my chances.

FUCK

you.

This World Is Cold.

And im getting sick of its tireless games. It seems everything, always, fucks up in one way or another. No matter how close I think I'm getting to my goal, it'll never work out. There's alway someone, something blocking it. Stealing it. Its selfish I know but its about time I got something. I dont even have anything to rely on, that relies on me back. No pair, no "soulmate". So I fill up with hatred and anger. rage. Yet, still its almost like im bullied. Caught in the crowd. Drowning. Feeling of helplessness and utter dispair. I want to scream, I want to run and hide and never come out. I need someone, something just to stand by me. Through everything. Even if no one is listening it makes no difference, because no one seems to care.

Way to burn your bridges.

Grow up, stop sooking. Get a fucking life.

Stop whinging stuck in your own self pity. You dont realise what you have.

Tell me when you've finally woken up.

And im thinking whats the deal.

With people around here being so full of hate, spite and jealousy that they fuck things up for everyone else and play with peoples minds and just be a total cunt.

Why can't everyone just get along?

Amity was nothing short of a-m-a-z-i-n-g

Best time. EVER.

Fell asleep at five am, woke up the next day with bonnie out the front of guys house. Run outside, our band had promo shots so we drive to beechworth. I have an uber quick shower. ONLY TO FIND OUT! our bassist couldnt make it and didnt tell us. So i watcehd transformers 2 with bonnie again! What a good day, although my limbs hurt D:

Street Sharks...

Got back from melbourne, new fake leather bomber jacket and macbeths, jealous?

I think you should all add thsi band, www.myspace.com/dethronedgodless

they're new recording kicks arse.

Amity and Deez Nuts tomorow, :D PEACE! xx

Once upon a time...

Just got back from the big A (albury).

Was funfunfun. Saw some sweet kids. Got naked. Slept. Woke up. Got naked. Went home.

I miss two certain people alot.
heres a clue;
<-------------------





Go check my new drawings owtt www.gcillustration.blospot.com

Best People Ever...

Right here... VEGAN POSSE

We are not the kids we used to be...

Stop wishing for yesterday.

I worked all day today just to get money to go to the dirty dong tomorow to go see amazing people :D

I have lots of drwaings i should upload but i cant be fucked scanning them. -..-

peace

CONSUME.CONSUMERS.CONSUMERISM

New drawing completed, go to;

http://gcillustration.blogspot.com/

to view it :)

peace

Im tired of losing...

Again i did not lose,

My hiphop track got into kool skools, something i've been wanting to do for years, so now im finally doing it and im getting good feedback from the demo that floating around.


peace x

with nothing to lose, you can lose it all...

Al im losing today is a little bit of hair,

hair cut in 45 minutes WOOO!

Im tired of wanting...

But i really want to wee.

Cant be fucked moving though.

Im playing for kings...

And im losing it all.

Im confused and unmotivated.

Selfesteem levels are low.



I have a headache.

Im suck a fucking emo.




I rhyme like a sick kent.
But seriously, CONFUSED!

Scream Out

I sound as emo as Jaxon in his posts.

Waiting for David Attenborough to come on :D





waiting,


waiting.

We're all dead.

Im losing sleep

Confused.
Lost.
Lonely.

Greatest People

Vegan Posse.

Early Morning, Late Nights

Morning,
listening to Lily Allen. Heading to band prac soon.

RAD!


wake up xJEFx!

PROOF

that i am more retarded than luis.

I'm losing everything.

Its been all of my wishes,
Devised a dream and then lived it,
and i remember,
when i first listened to your records,
its clouded,
what we know,


we can only live in hope.

THIS IS THE END

Not really,
just testing.

The Light You Burned

Everyones blogs are so depressing!

Chin up.

look like this guy;

Wasted Youth

Sometimes I feel we strive for a life of apathy,
Callous deeds, other mindless acts of greed,
Aint jack for free, I think they'd try a tax to breathe,
It's like we fight to remind us that we bleed.